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Standing with the Herd - 3/01/08

Corazon has been in training for the past two months. It has been a wonderful growth period for him and I marvel as he demonstrates a high desire to understand what is being asked of him. He wants to please.

It is important to blend training with other unexpected moments of sharing. These moments keep your horse curious and excited about interacting with you. It breaks up the flow and prevents redundancy. Yesterday, I arrived at the barn and Hugh, my trainer, was not there. I decided to walk on out to the gelding pasture. On the far side I saw Corazon. He was standing in the first warm sunshine we have had in weeks. He was relaxed and partly asleep I trudged through the eight inches of new snow until I reached him.

I am a very tactile person. I love to touch everything. When I shop or I am in new environments I touch everything, fabrics, veggies (all the more reason to wash your veggies), countertops, and plants. Many people that come to my programs have this same desire. It compels them to want to touch the horses, to feel the warmth of their bodies and the texture of their coat.

Today, instead of reaching out to touch and scratch my horse, instead, I stood quietly, about two feet beside him. Not once did I reach up to touch or stroke him. As we stood together I allowed myself to enter into ‘horse’ time. Breathing in the air, tuning into the distance sounds, and feeling sunshine on my face, time slowed down. After about five minutes the other horses in the pasture became curious.

A horse broke away from a group positioned about fifty feet away from us. He headed straight towards us and I could feel his intention to come right into the inner circle that Corazon and I were sharing. Corazon continued to stand, not moving an inch. I stepped forward, like a horse, and sent my energy right to the approaching horse with a verbal NO. The horse instantly turned and walked in a circle around us. I stepped back to my spot. Corazon let out a deep sign and began to lick and chew. Five seconds later I could see out of the corner of my eye that the horse was once again was poking into our inner circle, but from the side that Corazon was standing on.

This time Corazon lifted his head, turned his body and directed his energy towards the horse, ordering him out of our space one more time. I stood silently. Once the horse walked off for the last time, Corazon stepped back to the exact spot he was originally in next to me. He let out another sigh. Then, very gently and slowly, he moved his front leg one step closer to me and assumed his position of relaxation.

My heart skipped a beat and a smile spread across my face. As Hugh has been working with Corazon on a regular basis, I had become concern that my connection and bond with Corazon would be compromised. In that moment my fears were dispelled. I felt that Corazon first saw me preserving our inner private circle of personal space from the approaching horse. Then when the horse attempting to get into our space again Corazon stepped forward as if to say ‘we said no, this is our space.’

In that moment I felt close and accepted by Corazon. I felt he was protecting me and out space. This simply small gesture said more to me than if he stood there an allowed me to scratch and pet him. This gesture said to me, “Our connection is important, you are a part of my herd and I honor you.” We stood silently together as three more horses broke away from the other group and came over to explore what was going on. Each one would hit the edge of our private space and then move off. Together Corazon and I stood for about 20 minutes. As I stood there I felt into my body and my whole being, taking an inventory of my inner landscape. I walked away never touching Corazon, showing him that I can also honor him and his personal space and that I do not have to touch to feel connected to him.

If I had been caught up in my thinking head and unconscious of the present moment, I would have simply done the usual. Scratch and petted him, like an object that I get to love on. Instead, my ability to simply be with him, in his way, the way of the horse, allowed him to step forward towards me, even if it was a single small step. One small step from Corazon is one big step for our relationship.

Do something different in your life and in your relationships. If you have the tendency to step forward and approach, experiment with standing still and waiting. If you have the tendency to wait, then do the opposite, be the first to reach out. There is no right or wrong. Simply embrace the curiosity of what might happen if you do something differently. Offer the unexpected.

The Rebel 2/15/08

Life often presents an unpredictable moment challenging us to expand our capacity to relate. It does not always come easy or joyfully, but the opportunity is there.

I recently enrolled my mustang, Corazon, in a program with a trainer. Hugh, a fabulous trainer, has brought him around to accept a saddle and get use to hardness of the leather on his back. Corazon was showing great signs of progress. In order to work with Hugh, Corazon moved from his herd at Cedar Ridge Ranch, into a new environment and a paddock by himself with a neighbor horse over the fence that he could connect with.

Hugh got sick over the holidays. My schedule prevented me from going to the ranch. Corazon went for a week with little handling. When I finally arrived I walked over and haltered him and then took him out of the paddock for a stroll down the driveway. I noticed that the horse in the adjoining paddock was no longer there.

Corazon Corazon and I have often walked together and it was always very enjoyable. Corazon, usually a docile and corporative horse, seemed agitated and high strung. He whinnied several times as we left the paddock area. The muscles in his neck were tight with alertness and his stride energetic. He seemed to have grown two feet in height.

We walked down the long driveway. The wind began to blow and the thirty horses in a large open field began to race around. Corazon could barely contain himself. His nose darted out to challenge me, he shook and threw his head, tugging on the lead line, threatening my leadership. He stomped his foot with frustration. I could feel his eyes on me watching my every move. His dissatisfaction was more than clear. My stomach turned and my nerves got on edge. It was snowy and icily, he was being uncooperative. I felt stretch in my ability to manage him. He had not acted this way since the very first week that he had arrived at the ranch in May.

I knew that he wanted to jerk away from me and run toward the herd of horses in the large open pasture. I turned him around and we went back to the indoor arena. I took him into the round pen. My intention was for us to come back into relationship and for his energy to come down several notches. Corazon continued to throw his head and stomp his front leg. I remained standing in the center, unwilling to move or to let his tantrum affect me.

I then removed his halter and began to work with him at liberty in the round pen. He had nothing holding him back, and I had only my body language as a means of communication. He immediately faced away from me and began a kicking festival. His hind legs sprayed gravel onto my coat and in my face. He was pissed. He than began to run around, his head high, shaking and stomping. My little 14.2 hand horse had returned to his wild mustang nature.

Suddenly I noticed my heart was racing and my breath was short and stuck high in my throat. I remained in the center and directed him around the pen. I then focused on my breath, as if I was trying to hold a difficult yoga pose, counting to six during both the inhale and exhale. I knew I needed to control my own internal arousal as he challenged my leadership. I kept breathing and focusing, not allowing my own fear to rise up into frustration or anger, or to send me out of the round pen like a victim.

When he threw his butt I gave him the direction to move into, making his butt move the way I wanted it to. When he threw a fuss I requested that he move around the outer circle. I began to work with his body to make him move back and forth, toward me and then away. I did not make him sweat, but I did work with him until I felt he was paying attention to me.

Nine months ago when Corazon arrived to the ranch he did the very same thing. He threw a fit, angry as all get up that he was not free to run with the others and that he was in a confined area. He would run from me when I tried to halter him, and eventually reared and bucked at my attempts. I left the round pen, scared out of my wits, believing that he wanted to kill me or at least stomp me into the ground. This time, knowing him better and understanding the nature of (wild) horses better, I saw that he was not out to intentionally hurt me. He was however, giving some very direct communications. Eventually Corazon came to me in the middle of the round pen. We stood together as I scratched his withers, he exhaled and began to lick and chew. Both of us were relaxed. After a bit more work we walked back to his paddock.

I left the ranch doubting my ability to work with this horse, wondering about his ingrained wildness and when, if ever, it would completely diminish. I found myself thinking about everything that I had possibly done wrong that day. After talking with a like-minded horse person and fellow Equine Facilitator, Karen, I came back into my mental and emotional center. She pointed out to me that Corazon had not shown his best behavior; in fact he was rather aggressive and bratty. He had acted like an adolescent (he is seven years old), because he is an adolescent. However, what had changed was my response to his behavior. She helped me see everything that was right about the situation.

Instead of running away I had stood my ground. Instead of choosing to be angry I remained centered and calm. What is shifting is my ability to be with him in all of his various emotional states. I did not let him run over me nor did I lash out at him. If I had lashed out at him we would have gone to war. I simply kept working with him until his energy came back down and he adjusted his rebellious attitude.

I also realized how doubting myself had been a waste of time. There was nothing wrong with my horse, he was not too wild, nor aggressive even though a few people at the ranch implied so. Corazon and I are well bonded and I know what his needs are. He needs to be with other horses and his needs were not being met. When I first arrived at the ranch I had asked to be sure he was either with other horses or at least had a friend over the fence. I later found out they had moved his paddock neighbor and Corazon had been completely alone for about four days. It was not intentional, just simply what was needed on the ranch. The ranch also was not ready to put him out with the other geldings because another ‘mustang’ had demonstrated very aggressive behavior the previous year. Mustangs, on this ranch, had an unfortunate label according to breed, verses the philosophy that each individual horse has their own character.

As I chatted to my friend, I realized where my mind goes after a day of being challenged with Corazon. Typically I will make what happened wrong. I will judge either Corazon or myself, thinking that things SHOULD have been different. In all actuality, for me to be in relationship with Corazon means that I deal with the emotions and the behaviors that he moves through as he adjusts to the human world. I must remain patient, strong inside, and peaceful in my requests. Otherwise respect diminishes between the two of us. I need to trust my inner guidance, intuition, and gut feeling in regard to his personal needs and training. I may be wrong at times, but to doubt myself means also that I do not respect my own wisdom.

What is respect? We earn respect. It is not implied by one’s position or authority. It is not assumed by status or degree. I cannot assume that Corazon will respect me simply because he is my responsibility. Respect reflects strength and power that is based in caring, curiosity and consistency. Each time I stand my ground with Corazon, and I am firm and unwavering, without lashing out or being mean. I gain his trust, which only leads to more respect. I must not assume or put him into a box of ‘bad behavior’; instead, I must seek to understand what he is communicating and what needs of his are not being filled.

Lastly, I must realize that he has much to learn on his path of growth, and that it will take time. There will be frustrating moments. There will be moments when I feel no connection to him or that he becomes rebellious to my requests. Other times I may not feel he respects me at all, and he may feel the same about me. It is my job as a leader to rise to the challenge that is presented and stay consistent in my nature, my communication and my approach with him. I cannot allow his adolescent behavior to affect me or allow my attitude to digress with him. Each time he pushes my edges (patience, boundaries, communication) he gifts me the opportunity to be a better leader and person.

How often do we approach situations in life as a challenge? Do we embrace difficulties as opportunities for growth, or do we lash out becoming an aggressor, or pull back and become a victim. I believe we must rise to the challenge and stretch our hearts and minds. As we do so our ability to plumb the most difficult situations creates trust, intimacy and respect for our self and for others.

Corazon de la Montana - Summer Check In

Corazon is doing well! He has been a great partner with the groundwork. He now allows me to lift all of his feet, he understands my commands with a stick and a rope and moves around me willingly with grace and strength. He backs into all the gates I can find on the ranch, has been in the indoor arena, and easily jumps over the small jumps I make for him. I have begun to prepare him for the saddle and he is learning to accept the blanket and also some tightness around his girth. Each day we do something different and I move deliberately and confidently with him, listening to him earnestly for when he gets too stressed or needs a few minutes to digest things. The pacing is slow, as rushing a mustang will only make one short step turn into a long extended exercise.

Yesterday I set up a series of logs, with cones at each for him to jump over and then back over. He loved the jumping going forward and he easily backed in one direction, but refused the opposite direction. After trying all of the ways I knew to move and instruct him, he began to paw the ground with impatience and frustration. I felt stuck. Knowing him well now, I am smart enough not to push him when he gets like this.

At the same time a nice man came over to the round pen to speak with me. Corazon and I moved to the edge of the round pen and chatted with him for a few minutes. After he left Corazon and I walked back to the log. I turned Corazon around and he backed over the log without hesitation. That simple five-minute break away from the exercise gave him time to relax and digest his activities. Timing is everything. It is easy to fall into the habit of ‘pushing’ to get what I want. I have been doing this all of my life. This behavior often can lead me to frustration and anger when what I am pushing for does not show up or happen. When I can take a step back and relax, often what I want to happen, happens and with a higher level of flow with ease.

The experiences I am having with Corazon are amazing, and as Ginger Kathren’s told me, training a mustang is like no other experience. She was right. Corazon is not a domesticated horse. I cannot expect anything that I expect with my buckskin Moon, or the other horses I have worked with. Corazon is teaching me about how he thinks and how he sees the world and I am paying attention and listening so that I can best communicate with him. At times it is soft and connecting, a sense of true bonding. At other times it is challenging, his energy is big and forces me to step up, stand my ground, be fully body/mind present and to be the leader between the two of us.

Everyday when I am with him I wonder how it must be for him; to once have been free and now to be in the confines created by humans. Will he grow to appreciate his home and owner? We he someday enjoy the Equine Assisted Learning and Coaching programs? Or, on some level will he always know that what is between him and the vast open spaces and hillsides is me? I can only hope that I can offer his a stimulating life, one that is filled with learning, partnership and adventure, one that keeps him wanting more time with me.

Welcome a New Member of the Herd - Corazon de la Montana - May 12, 2007

A new member of my herd has arrived. His name is Corazon de la Montana, which means Heart of the Mountain in Spanish. Corazon is 14.2 hands, his coloring looks black, with some deep brown around his nose. Officially he is called a Brown. Corazon was labeled as unadoptable and untrainable by the BLM, branded with the numbers 5293 on his butt, and placed into a holding facility. The holding facility is pretty much a dead end place for horses who were previously free on public lands. Holding facilities are a dead end for wild horses. Once there they will spend the rest of their lives doing nothing. There are approximately over 25,000 wild horses in holding facilities at this time.

Shortly after Corazon's arrival an Equine Assisted Learning workshop group of six people, stood about fifteen feet from his area and next to some of the other horses. The group focused on the body scanning process. This process brings presence, awareness and grounding to one’s body. As I glanced around I noticed that ALL of the horses (about 30) in that area had stopped what they were doing and had turned to face the group and Corazon. It was an ocean of horse faces all intent in their focus. The stillness was palpable. Seldom do these horses see humans being ‘still’ and doing nothing for 20 minutes straight! Corazon stood as close as he could to the group, cocked his leg and did some licking and chewing.

Corazon has been alert and very interested in all of the activities at the ranch. On his first day, he stood with an unrelenting gaze on a group of women in the far pasture practicing how to move cows. I wonder if he has ever seen a cow, much less a human on a horses back!

He and Moon have touched noses. It was rather uneventful, like two good friends shaking hands. Moon is in a paddock right next to Corazon so that I can do everything I do with Moon, while Corazon can watch from his own space. Corazon has allowed me to move all around him, making lots of noises and mucking his stale. Each time I enter his space he allows me to walk closer to him. The second day he ate hay from my hand while I was outside of the round pen. The third day he ate green grass out of my hand while I was inside his round pen. He then proceeded to follow me around. Yesterday he allowed me to scratch his neck while he nibbled on the grass. It seems that the old saying, "the fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach," seems to be applicable for Corazon too.

I am thrilled at the level of confidence and curiosity he is demonstrating. His only training was halter training at the Cannon City Prison program. I will not push him, as I know he needs the time to understand his environment, which is vastly different than the spacious ridges of the Pryor Mountains, where he was born.

Ginger Kathrens, the women who has been filming and following the Pryor Mountain Mustangs of Montana, was able to get five of these horses out of the holding facility and down to the Cannon City Prison where they have a mustang training and adoption program. One of the horses unfortunately had an accident while training and was put down. The other four, one of which is Corazon, have all been successfully adopted.

I believe in trusting what we feel compelled to do. Often a voice that comes from deep inside directs us. It is a voice that continues to speak to us until we take action. Every time I listen to this voice I move further on my life path in a direction that feels satisfying and aligned with purpose. For three years mustangs have touched my heart. Every time I read about what is happening to them anger and tears would surface. Finally I listened to that voice and gave Ginger a call.

That one call back in December changed my life. It was perfect timing as she told me about these five horses that would be available for adoption. Before I knew it, I heard myself say, “Put me on the list for one. I will take one of them.” Since that time I have waited patiently as the dynamics of adoption unfolded. Corazon is now here with me, and Moon. My heart is filled with excitement to experience the path that he and I will take, and how my current horse Moon will also help to facilitate that.

At the same time, my heart goes out to Corazon. Part of what we will do together is to bring more awareness to the horses that are left in the wild, especially the Pryor Mountain horses, so that the herds can continue to survive and thrive in the wild.

What would it mean for a horse that has always run free to be captured and live in small spaces for months on end. Does he wonder if he will ever be able to run again? Does he worry that smaller paddocks with five foot rails is his destination. The plight of the mustangs compels me to act, to learn, to see how I might serve them and people at the same time. I am thankful that I have followed mine. The gifts that this relationship will bring me will be diverse, challenging, rewarding and take me to a new level of service.

Many of you have reached out to me to better understand how I am employing horses to help humans grow and to come to Carbondale to experienced this powerful and wonderful work in person. Thank you. I encourage all of you to follow what is compelling to you, to follow the calling of your heart, to listen to the voice inside that is encouraging you to become the person you are meant to be.

If you are touched by the wild hearts of mustangs and you want to help preserve their presence on our public lands I strongly encourage you to take action by offering a donation to The Cloud Foundation. The Cloud Foundation financially sponsored all four of these horses for several months until the appropriate adoptee were found. This was very expensive. To contribute to The Cloud Foundation’s effort in saving these horses, and in keeping the ones that are free in the wild, please send a check of any amount to:

The Cloud Foundation

107 South 7th Street

Colorado Springs, Colorado 80905

Make your check out to The Cloud Foundation, Inc. and include that it is for the Pryor Boys via Kathy Pike. Your contribution is tax deductible. Its time to take action!

Thank you Ginger Kathrens for trusting me with one of your boys!

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